the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize