A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
