Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
