So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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