I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
