I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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