Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
