Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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