I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize