I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize