I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
