ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize