We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
