If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
