Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
