I think I died a long time ago.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize