He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
