Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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