i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
