new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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