You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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