Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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