plz talk dirty to me
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
