I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
