Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
