yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
