he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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