hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
