yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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