I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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