oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
