I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
