the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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