the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
