Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
