How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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