Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
