bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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