these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
