I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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