you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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