what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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