why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
