bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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