i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My Sexting was not on an AP level
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
