Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
