And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize