Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
