look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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