I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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