my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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