Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
