I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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