yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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