My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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