The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
