Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
