What did we do last night that was yellow?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
