sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize