Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
