i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
