ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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