My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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