I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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