I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just high enough for therapy.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
