spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
