thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
