one might say we're banned from that church
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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