Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
