I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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