billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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