Non-Jews are for practice
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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