So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
