So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize