no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
