I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize