fuck your aforementioned shoe
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
