Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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