i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
they need to just BURY HIM!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
