still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
